Well, my last blog talked about how 32 was going to be the year that everything changed. As promised the age of 32 is keeping me on my toes. Good, bad and indifferent. (Okay, not really indifferent, but it sounds good?!)  I had an interview with a local school district for possible opening positions.  In our district, we call them classroom reduction teachers. When the schools get to many kids in them and the class sizes become too large. Classroom reduction teachers are hired. They reduce the class size.

I had two interviews with two principals. Then I waited, waited, and waited. We went on vacation as planned to Adventureland theme park. We pulled up on the trolley to Adventureland. Can you guess what happened?! In a matter of a half an hour, I was hired as a part-time junior high language arts teacher. Oh my goodness! That was round 1 for the day.  Life-0, Jen- 1.

Ding, ding, ding, round 2 begins as we go on the log ride. We get soaked to the bone. The excitement begins to wear off. My mind begins to turn on what’s going to happen next. (I was thinking taking care of the kids). Then the next call comes in, my youngest daughter’s speech evaluation has been reviewed. We begin to talk results. They aren’t good. What we thought were minor speech issues are now, bigger speech issues. They want to place her in the Early Development Room, aka, and special resource preschool. I began to cry. We had taken all the steps to prevent this. She was in early invention speech and  all that we could do for her. Okay God, I get it, its not about me. We are blessed, it’s only for expressive speech (in plain language, you can’t understand a word she says.) But we are blessed that is nothing other than that. Life-1, Jen-1

Ding, ding, ding, round 3 begins as the end of our day approaches. We have begun to get rejected by every nanny we had interviewed. Great, here we go, I have a job, a kids in special education and now, I can’t find a nanny. Really God?! I am completely honest on this blog, this was what was going through my mind. So, crying on the way home on a Thursday.  Life-2,  Jen 1

I lost the fight. I felt like Evander Holyfield the day after the fight with Mike Tyson. I felt like something was missing. I had let Life beat me. The rest of that first week of school, would prove that the fight with  life, was not over. Life and I were duking it out. But have you notice, who was not beside me in all this. God. Plain and simple. Yes, I prayed everyday, but God was answering the prayers. Yet, I wasn’t liking the answers.

God had provided everything I needed. Yet, I was like Saul, before he became Paul. I was bent on my own way. Thankfully God did not blind me, but I was blinded. I was blinded by pride, hurt, and being selfish.  The scales were torn off after an intervention of sorts with some friends and a pastor. You need to have friends that will be restlessness in helping you. We went to the intervention ready for another fight, because you see, I had been fighting all along. But God come in, crashing on my head. Torn the scales off my eyes and I saw clearly.

God had provided a job, in which I could still be with my children most of the day and help out with our  debt. God had provided an amazing nanny that is wonderful for our children and loves God. God had/has provided a church family that loves us. God gave us a solution with our daughter that helps her. You see, I failed to see all of that.

So, if you are struggling, as I hard as it is, there are blessings behind it. Tony Evans writes in Kingdom woman, that God often works behind the scenes in the dark. We don’t know the whole picture just yet, because that is when we get to heaven. We only get the left or right corner of our entire life. This is a moment. It may be hard, but God will get you through it. After all, He gave us the biggest gift of all, Jesus, the cross, and the resurrection.