A joyless Christian

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My husband looked straight at me with concern in his eyes and said “You just have a grumpy look on your face.”  It was true. I was tired, short with the kids and my mood had been off the rails. I could not put my finger on what was happening.  I was grumpy, moody and not being kind. I was complaining about everything and praising nothing.

1962686_1444619569109053_58350192_n(Bella in a grumpy mood)

Saturday night rolled around and we went to church. It’s our ritual. One we do not take lightly. We enjoy our Saturday night church and Chick-fil-A dinner afterwards. It’s our routine.  I won’t lie, I had a busy Saturday day. I was tired and I didn’t want to go. Now, as I write, that thought  fills me with saddens. We begin to worship and it takes at least two songs for me to get into the songs but eventually it does. The songs begin to penetrate into my heart. The meanings and my grumpy look begins to fade. I am eager to listen to my pastor. He reminds me of a few things.  “A joyless Christian is a contradiction of terms.”  Basically, my grumpiness needed to go. This way of thinking needed to take a backseat and go.

He also said ” Make your tent bigger.” He was reading out of Isaiah 54: 1-10.  This was after the prophecy that Christ was coming in chapter 53. God was telling his people to stretch out their belongings and materials even further than they ever had.

Two things about this sermon hit home. One, I needed to praise God instead of being grumpy about  anything. Everything out of my mouth should start with a praise.  Second, Kenya is a what I should be doing. This mission trip was put in my path to make me stretch even more.

If you get one thing out of this blog post: Praise God with the start of every conversation. I am going to begin to try .

Marathon Updates and Mondays

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I actually took this idea from another blogger about updating my readers on my running progress.  I am running the Chicago marathon this October with my husband. I am starting my training this week.

We are doing the charity route to run the marathon. This is our first time my husband is running the marathon, my second. We are raising money for Oasis. Oasis is an organization that takes care of Kenyan orphans.

I am ready to get back on the wagon. To begin to eat well again. To see my feet hit the pavement. To feel the sunshine on my face. I want to finish a marathon again.

So, tomorrow, I will be running my “real” run in months. I am excited. I need motivation.  Three miles is tomorrow and the long run Sundays will begin again. So, until next Monday 🙂

Any advice?

A new path

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I went back to work this year after three years of being home with my children. I loved my time at home. The decision to go back to work was not made lightly. I began the process of finding the perfect job for my new life. I honestly thought God would put me as a counselor somewhere. God had a different plan. I have landed as a part-time middle school teacher. I fell in love.

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God had a different set of plans right after college. My plans included two kids, graduate school and three years full of learning what living within in your means really means. I began the search in late July and early August for a job. I ended up getting a fluke interview with my now boss. I don’t believe in flukes. I believe in God’s plan. This year has been difficult. I have cried a lot, was schooled a few times, and laughed. God stretched me in ways I never knew possible.

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Being a working mom is hard. It has been hard to adjust to being somewhere by a certain time with kids in tow. They have to be at school and I have to be at work. I, at times, have to choose between conferences at school that run late and being home with my kids. Teachers can’t get all of their work done in the time at school. I often work on weekends and sometimes late at night. I am tired. My stay at home mom friends are no longer around, but a certain few.   I can’t do playdates , friend’s lunches out or dinners out during the week. It’s very hard. I feel lonely. My running has gone down because there are so few hours in the day.

So, I need to balance it all….finding my way through a new territory. It’s hard, but it’s good.  Any advice from the working moms out there?

Learning through uncertain times

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Photo: Rhiannon Walker Flickr 2012

Photo: Rhiannon Walker
Flickr 2012

Fundraising has been a humbly experience for me. This post is not about asking for more money or promoting my online donation. This blog is about the experience of relying on others and God.

Africa had been on my heart since Bella was around a year old. I have had a heart for other nations as well as our community. I have wanted to do another mission trip.  I felt called to Africa. I was finally obedient to the call.  I found an opportunity to go to Kenya this summer in February with an organization called Live in Love ministries. They are a God-fearing ministry that serve the people of Africa, India  and Mexico.  I applied to go and in the matter of days. The fundraising began.  The money is all due in May. February to May is a not a long time to raise money.

I have been blessed with supporters coming out of the wood work to help me. I am amazed, honored, and floored. There are so many great causes out there and many missionaries to support. When I post updates everyday once someone gives, I am truly honored. It’s not to get more supporters. It’s to praise God from whom all blessing flow. It’s to give thanks to the people who have loved on me. It’s to thank those who even not giving financially are praying for me.  It’s to recognize that God provides without me doing much but giving Him the glory, honor and praise.

Fundraising has been a test in my patience. I am an action person. I am not a wait to see kind of gal. At times, God requires that of me. There are times that God prompts me to take action. I spring to action. When God requires me to wait, I get antsy. I get nervous, anxious and act like God can’t, won’t and is unable to take care of it. Ben and I through  praying believe that God is wants us to wait on the Lord.

There are thousands of way to fundraise. I began last night listing what we could sell and how to make a quick buck to fund my trip.  Ben stopped me. We have never sold our belonging once we are finished with them. We have always given them to people who need them more than we do.  Ben didn’t want to begin now to suspend our generosity because I was living in fear. Our generosity  should not suffer because I am fearful that God will not provide. Life is uncertain but God is not. God knows. He  laid this on my heart. Gave me the opportunity. In less than a month, we have seen $1,200  flood through.  God will put on my heart when its time to do more. The action girl will spring to life again, when it comes time.

Matthew 6: 31-34 ” Therefore do not be anxious, saying, ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink” or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the Gentiles seek after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them all. But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be added to you. Therefore do not be anxious about tomorrow, for tomorrow will be anxious for itself. Sufficient for the day is its own trouble.”

Thank you to God for whom all blessings flow. Thank you to all the supporters of every kind.  Thank you for believing in me and what has been placed on my heart.

A Broken Kind of Beautiful: A book review

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Synopsis of the book: Ivy Clark is a model with a failing career. She was the “it” girl in New York City but is finding that age and time have not been kind.  Her  career is hanging on by a thread of bridal wear. In trying to salvage her career, Ivy is going home to  Greenbrier, South Carolina. She is the new face of her stepmother’s bridal wear. Greenbrier is a far cry from New York City. Ivy is finding out whether you can really go home. Will the career be saved or crumble under the hands of a photographer, who walked away from it all? Will Ivy be able to face the past that plaques her?  Is there beauty in a broken woman?

“Fear not, for I have redeemed you; I have called you by name, you are mine.” Isaiah 43:1

My thoughts on the book: This book is the third of Katie Ganshert. I am a fan of her first two books. Her debut novel, Wildflowers from Winter,  was one of my favorite Christian Fiction books. I was honored to  receive an advance reading copy of the book A Broken Kind of Beautiful.  I tore into the book with a somewhat open mind. I had fallen in love with Bethany and Robin, would I fall in love with Ivy? Ivy and I are completely different. I am a far cry from super model material. Could I relate to someone…so beautiful?

Yes! Ivy is as a real as they come. Ganshert does a nice of job of building the background tension in Ivy ‘s story.  The struggles are real. Unlike many Christian Fiction, Ganshert, does not shy away from the reality of society. She does it with grace and humility. Ganshert clearly understands the world in which we live in that seems to be missing in some Christian Fiction.

What I did not like: I can honestly say there isn’t much about it I did not like. I wish she had left the ending at the last chapter. I believe that would have been more realistic.

I highly recommend this book to anybody. Ivy’s character is every woman’s struggles.  At times, I could see myself in this character more than I liked. I enjoyed that Ivy was complicated. In reality, there are very few people who are uncomplicated.

You can pre-order this book  A Broken Kind of Beautiful at the following links:

Books a Million: http://www.booksamillion.com/p/Broken-Kind-Beautiful/Katie-Ganshert/9781601425904?id=5759345486341

Amazon: http://www.amazon.com/Broken-Kind-Beautiful-Novel/dp/1601425902/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1395278001&sr=1-1&keywords=broken+kind+of+beautiful

Happily Ever After

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My husband and I are fans of the show How I Met Your Mother. It’s a show about a man telling the story to his children about how he met their mother. There are two shows left to the series ending. We have never met the mother until this season. There are many theories out there about how the show will end. I could dicuss all the theories out there, but one stands out the most. The mother is dead. Ted, the father, has been telling the story (for nine seasons) to preserve her memory. There is outcry everywhere about this ending. Even I don’t like this ending. I began to think and read blogs on the subject of happy endings. Every sitcom,we expect, are to end happily. Ted is expected to met the mother, fall in love and live happily ever after. That’s it.

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But is it? No. Real life is not as easy as the ending to a great show. My story with my husband did not start off with the romantic look. Our love story is nothing hollywood would write about or any writer for that matter. Our wedding day was not a happily ever after the moment we said “I do” because we had a day after and the day after that. You see happily ever after only happens in pretend. The happily ever after happens every day, when you are put to the test and you stick to it. Today with divorce being so easy and quick. It’s harder to stick with a spouse until death.

Side note: IF you are in a domestic violence relationship. Please leave and seek the help that you need. It does not say anywhere in the bible that a woman should be mistreated. Your husband is to love you like CHRIST loves the church.

Single women, love stories are amazing, but they are just that…love stories. The greatest love story is found in the bible.  You see Jesus is the love you have been looking for and He will fill your heart. Jesus has been waiting for you.  Allow Him to fill your heart and stop looking for Prince Charming. He doesn’t exist. Then allow God to find your mate. He is the perfect match maker, but quit looking for the perfect spouse.

So, how will this series end? I am not sure. I will find out in two weeks 🙂

Peace

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Flickr artistsactivists January, 2010

Flickr
artistsactivists
January, 2010

Where to begin this blog? I am leaving for Kenya in June. Many things come into  play during this current season. This is one of the worst seasons of my life to pack up during the summer and go on a mission trip. Why you ask?

I am a part-time, first year, English/Literature teacher. What does this mean to the outside world? Unlike most jobs, I will lose my job at end of the year. I am on a one year contract that has not and will,most likely, not be renewed. This means that I have to reapply for teaching jobs or jobs in general for next year.  I love my school. I love my students. The thought of leaving this school usually causes tears; the tears for missing my students and my co-workers. I am a control freak with no path for next year.  As the year continues, the Lord has given me peace of mind.

The mission trip is coming in the middle of the summer. This could happen when jobs are being posted and others are being hired. Not me. Not me you ask: I will be in Kenya.I will be following the call that I believe God has placed on my life. I am feeling peace with it.

The mission trip is coming, when we are not in the place to  afford it. I have to fundraise like crazy.  I am at peace.

I feel weirdly calm.   I am being obedient and God’s plan is awesome.

God is good. I am pumped. He will provide. Thank you Lord!

Romans 8:6 “For the mind set on the flesh is death, but the mind set on the Spirit is life and peace…”

Kenya online donation page: http://www.gofundme.com/7eudm0

Buy a T-Shirt and support Kenya : https://www.bonfirefunds.com/jens-fund-6

Kenya or Bust

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I don’t even know how to begin this blog. I am overwhelmed, honored, and blessed. God is good. I am going to Kenya over the summer. I am going to spend around two weeks serving the people of Kenya, Africa. I will be  doing various tasks such as working in orphanages, construction, and other work projects. I am going with a team from Live in Love Ministries. I am beyond excited but also nervous. I am a mother of two young children. I am leaving them for two weeks.  Yet, I feel the Lord pressing on my heart to help the people of Kenya. Africa has been on my heart for at least two years.

Producers, Africa, 2006, East Africa, Kenya, Trinity Jewelry

Producers, Africa, 2006, East Africa, Kenya, Trinity Jewelry

I have no clue what I am going to learn. I know that it will be good. For my readers, could you pray for me. Pray that God reveals his plan in his timing. Also, pray that provision for the trip comes through. I have some fundraising things in the works, but trips like these are not cheap. Pray for my team members and for our hearts to begin knitting together. Pray that God will use these months leading up to the trip to protect us from anything that could distract us from what God is calling us to do.

If you would like to help with my trip:

You can send it to:

Live in Love Ministries

Memo: Jennifer Schrempf

9042 San Fernando Way

Dallas, TX 75218

Thank you all for your support. I love this community God has given me. I love my team

already.

“Declare his glory among the nations, his marvelous works among all the peoples!” Psalm 96:3

A new attitude

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I walked into a warehouse. I am not sure if it was a real warehouse, but it looked like one. There were ropes hanging from the ceiling.  I wonder if I had walked into some type of torture. I had walked into crossfit for my first class. I had no idea what I was walking into.  I am not doing the intense  “real” crossfit. I am doing the  toned down version. I do everything cross fitters do without the heavy lifting.

Flickr 2013 Ali Samievivala

Flickr
2013
Ali Samievivala

I walked into my second class. Excited, ready and feeling a little too self-assured about myself. I was humbled really quickly. They pulled out a real jump rope, a box (which required me to jump on top of it) and a serious amount of exercises that I had never done.  I began steady and on top of it. I was on my game.  I am in decent shape, not horrible, not the best. Then I began the burbee and jumping on top of a box. I actually was able to jump on top of the box.  I was excited that I had made that achievement.  All of sudden it became difficult. I was on my high of jumping onto the box and realizing how much more I had to do.  I was already tired and I had to find my strength. I asked God for the strength and He supplied.

At the end was five minutes of abs and running. By the end, I was panting and sweating like a dog. I had never felt more accomplished in my life. I have a lot of room to grow, but I am excited to see how this helps my running career this summer.

Do something you always wanted to do, but too scared to try.  Ask God for guidance and just jump in. Sometimes all you need to do is jump. Take the first leap to whatever is holding you back.

I am also thankful for a husband who support all my wild ideas. Without his support, I could not take care of myself.  Thank you Ben. You are amazing.

10 things

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My first day as a junior high teacher

My first day as a junior high teacher.

This is my first year as a junior high teacher. I have learned a lot about myself and teenagers. I have self-reflected this entire school year. This ended up with a list of things I learned about myself and the others around me.

Here are the top 10 things I have learned as a junior high teacher:

10. Junior High is hard. All the kids are trying to find their identity. They are learning how to fit in the world around them. They are exploring new areas of their life that they never knew existed before.

9. I am a counselor everyday. I have my master’s in counseling. I was unable to find a job in that field. I went back into the classroom. I do more counseling in this position as  a junior high teacher than I did in grad school. The skills I learned there, I use every single day.

8.  Girls and boys create drama. The stereotype is that girls are all drama. I have learned in fact that both sexes contribute to drama. The students again are trying to find themselves. They are going act in ways their parents have never seen before and test their limits. This causes  drama with each other, parents and teachers.

7. Teachers are super heroes. I am not a super hero.  My co-workers are the real super heroes. They put in countless hours that are unpaid.  Teachers are the overworked, underpaid heroes of the world.

6. You should smile all the time. Smile at the students and say “hello” as you pass them in the hallway. Give random students high-five’s. Talk to each student and love on them. You never know that just might make their day a little better.

5.  The more experienced teachers  can be helpful, if you are willing to listen.  You have to be willing to take feedback and use what you can from it. The feedback may be good, bad or invaluable. I have learned so much from my fellow co-workers.

4.  The administration can make or break a building. An administration can build the rapport with the staff and students. They can aide in your professional development and help you become better.

3. Not everyone is your friend. This is a general rule in life. Not everyone on your staff is looking out for your best interest. Find the people that look out for each other and surround yourself with those people.

2. I am not strong without God. I have been torn down by man to be built back up by God.  I have gained wisdom in areas that I thought I understood and depths of love that I never knew possible.

1. The students need to know you care about them. They won’t remember the math problem, the book, the grammar taught, but they will remember if you liked them. They will remember if you cared about them and loved them. They will remember if you wanted to be there.

I love my students and parents. I love my school and co-workers. But I have had some bumps in the road. I have learned some hard lessons and cried a lot.  I have learned that I will never stop growing as a person. I have learned, I love being a junior high teacher.