I fell off the wagon

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Taken by: Mike Baird February 24, 2013 Flickr

Taken by: Mike Baird
February 24, 2013
Flickr

I fell. I fell hard. The wagon was going too fast and I slipped. The ground was hard against my face. I lay there face down in the dirt. I could feel the grit of the brown, ugly, dirt in my mouth.  I lay there hoping that I could muster the strength to get back on the wagon. The wagon has patiently waited for me. The wagon has stood there, waiting, ready to move on. The destination is unclear.

I lay waiting for a miracle to pull me on the wagon. The miracle came in the form of a week’s worth of headaches . The realization came that I cannot continue eating this way any longer.  I pulled myself up with the strength given to me by the grace of God. I got back on the wagon this week.

Clean eating is hard. It is hard to eat out. It is hard to see everyone around being able to eat in the teacher’s lounge and not worry if this will trigger a headache.  It’s hard to watch everyone around you be–normal. It is hard to be different.

I already stick out because I am a thin person. I work as a junior high teacher. I literally blend in with the students. The students comment on how “tiny” I am. They have no idea, the health issues associated with my size. (the height, not so much.)  I already feel different. Now, I am trying to eat in a way that is uncommon.

It’s never too late to begin again. It’s never too late to start over. I started over today. I pulled myself up after two weeks of eating horribly and now back on the wagon. I will fall off again. I will learn the hard way. My eating has to within the realm of what I can handle.

Those trying to be in the clean eating/healthy eating club; keep at it. It’s hard. People around you may not understand. temptation will always be there. But whatever your reason may be, success will find you.

On a lighter note: 

I have also begun my half marathon training for the season. My husband and I will end it by running the Chicago Marathon in October. This will my second time running it and my husband’s first.

Also, any thoughts from my readers on cross-fit? Wanting to try it out, but not sure if its worth the money? It is affordable? In our home, money can be a little tight.  If it’s worth the money, then I might try it during my training season. Thoughts?

Valentine’s Day

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Today is Valentine’s Day. You won’t be reading this blog on Valentine’s Day. I will post it the day after on February 15th.  This post will come to women that have had the best day, the worst day and just an okay day. Some women will read this as a single woman and wish for the love of their life, the perfect soul mate (He doesn’t exist.)  Some women will have completely boycotted the day with their loved one, because it’s  a “Hallmark” holiday. They will scream in rebellion against the overpriced chocolate, flowers and other cheese ball gifts out there.

Which woman am I? I am the lover of this holiday. I love Valentine’s day. I love being spoiled by my husband and seeing my girls spoiled by him. I love being loved in this way. Some might view this as shallow and materialist. Some might even question my Christianity.  Side note, Jesus is the first love of my life and Ben is the second.

Valentine’s Day in our house represents to our girls how a man should treat a woman.

I already hear the rebellion women in protest, “He should treat you this way ALL year-long”.

I will simply say, ” HE DOES”.

My girls see my husband doing the dishes after dinner has been eaten. They see him compliment me when I am in sweats or all dressed up. They see him kiss, hug, love on me all the time. To the point that my oldest has said ” You kiss too much.”  But on Valentine’s Day, my husband, steps it up a thousand degrees. He brings home flowers, chocolates, small gifts and most importantly his love for us. To us Valentine’s Day is treated no differently than any other holiday.  We center it around the love Christ. My husband is the demonstrating the love of Christ to his wife and children.

Take or leave Valentine’s Day, it really doesn’t matter. But in our home, we will take it.

A life in pictures

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Our oldest daughter is five on Super Bowl Sunday or February 2nd for the rest of the world.  I can’t believe it’s been five years. I felt like I was just rocking her to sleep and singing her Billy Joel songs. (Yes, at one a.m. things became a little crazy in her room.)

Madelyn Elizabeth a life in pictures.

Born: 2.2.09; Weight : 8 pounds 3 oz; Length: 21 inches long

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First picture with daddy:

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First picture of mommy:

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First birthday picture:

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Second birthday picture:

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Third birthday picture:

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fourth birthday picture:

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Pictures that capture our hearts:

Our last family picture of three. This was taken a month before Bella was born.

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My beautiful girl. 20110325-DSC_0113

They truly do love each other.
IMG_6863Studying with mommy during my grad school years

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I am blessed beyond measure. I thank God every day of my life for the gift He has given me. My beautiful daughter. She is now five. I am sad, yet happy because God is already working in her life. I praise God everyday for her.

Beware of Christians

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Beware of Christians  caught my attention right away on Netflix. This documentary is about four college age young men on a journey through Europe.  It is a five-week journey throughout Europe is to find and live like Jesus. The young men find in each country something to focus on in their interviews.  For example, in Germany, they talk about the issue of alcohol because it’s the beer capital of the world.

I found the documentary  a testament to how God works. These young men had been churched their whole lives. They spoke the church world talk but lived a different life throughout the week. They had to look within to see if they were truly following Jesus or just following a legalist form of Christianity.

I found this documentary to be thought provoking to say the least. This left me convicted in areas of my life that I need to change.

Am I truly an example of Jesus?

The answer is no.  I have many areas of my life that need to be examined and really reflected upon.

My favorite line among many on the salvation prayer, ” At the end of the little prayer you pray, the pastor should tack on, this is the hardest choice you will ever make. You are handing your life over to God.” (Beware of Christians, 2011)

This is bigger than a five minute prayer. It is truly a lifestyle.

Never never land

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Flickr 2012 By: I-Believe

Flickr
2012
By: I-Believe

Have you ever wanted to go to Never Never Land? Be one of the lost boys? Ride around with Peter Pan all day and be “free” of life expectations. I had never thought of this concept before the approaching birthday of our oldest.

She is turning five in February. February 2 to be exact. I feel as thought I was just pregnant with her. I feel like I was just holding her in my arms and singing “The Lullaby Song” by Billy Joel to her, wishing she would never get older than that moment. The moment fades into another and life moments begin to blur. Until one day, you wake up realize, I will have a five-year old very soon.

Experienced parents may or may not have struggled with the age of five, but for us, it means kindergarten. It means going to school all day. It means interacting with possible bullies and other children who will break her heart. (My daughter has some sensitivities and I am not naive.)

But all of these thoughts would not be in play, if Maddie herself was not freaking out.  Everyday she talks about when she is a grown up. Not a five-year old meaning of grown up, but like my age. She is fearful and scared. Ben and I are baffled to say the least. What five-year old worries about the future? What five-year old worries about who she is going to marry ?  What five-year old worries that she will be leaving us one day and we won’t have “children” any longer?

We try to tell her these are all good things. That God will pick out her husband, so she doesn’t need to worry. That she will always be my child.

Then one day comes the whooper of the question: Where will she live? I explained to her that she will live in her own house with her own husband and kids.  Then she states : “But you and daddy will be alone”.  (That’s the whole point!) We want her to grow up and move on. We want her to meet the man God has set aside for her. We want her to have children, so we can be grandparents.

Off handedly said,  “you can move next door to our neighbor’s house.” She sincerely looks at me and says: “Should we write Marge a note to tell her that I will buy her house?”  She is not even five yet!

It is continually with her and turning five. We can’t figure out what is awful about five. But five to our oldest is awful. I believe if Peter Pan came right now and promised she could stay four, she would jump on the bandwagon and fly away.

Do we do that as adults?  Do we hate certain ages? I know I hated 25 and then I hated 31.  I can tell you exactly why those ages bothered me. What is stopping me at my age to do the things I am meant to do set before as God has planned? Will I continue to hide and wait for Peter Pan or will I take the hand of Jesus and go?

What are you waiting for? Let’s jump!

Clean eating fail

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Clean Eating Flickr, 2008 Taken By: Jo

Clean Eating
Flickr, 2008
Taken By: Jo

If you have been following my blog since the 2014 has started, you have been aware of my desire to begin the “clean” eating habits in my life.

I have blogged about weeks one and two. I have one word for week three: FAIL! Big fat FAIL!  I was doing really well in fact. I use the 80% clean and 20% processed.  Then week three hits and for some reason,  I caved. I didn’t have start with a craving. I just caved and it started with a piece of cake. Then it lead into a brownie at work and so on. I know it’s not easy to replace all my old habits.  I know that at times, I will relapse into unhealthy food. I try not to deprive myself of “fun” treats. This is not about weight loss for me as well. (Trust me!)

It’s Sunday night, I look forward to next week. I went grocery shopping today which helps. I bought very little processed food (even for my husband and kids).  We are all learning to eat better.  I had so many headaches last week, I could not even tell you the triggers. That is the whole purpose of the “clean” eating.

So, blogging world, I failed! I also failed at working out. I worked out once. I have signed up for a new challenge at work to work out most days  of the week until spring break.

Here is me admitting my failure and looking forward to victory.  My victory will be found in looking toward the Lord’s strength. I have been finding that a lot lately.

Psalm 118 is really my verses right now. The entire thing. If you need strength, look these verses up. They are amazing!

Keep on fighting.

Jo. Clean Eating . Flickr. Los Angles.

My clean eating journey

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b68e45adf700c8206bf91ebc0a47f49bI have begun what people call “clean eating”.  I am cutting processed foods out of my diet and sticking to more natural foods. This means that I am spending more money on items that have a shorter shelf life.

I have discovered, how much processed food, I actually eat.  First, what is a processed food? That is the main question, I am asked.

According to Livestrong.com a processed food is : ” The United States Federal Food, Drug and Cosmetic Act, Section 201, Chapter II defines processed food as “any food other than a raw agricultural commodity and includes any raw agricultural commodity that has been subject to processing, such as canning, cooking, freezing, dehydration, or milling.”

Processed food is just as its sounds, its processed in a factory and put in a box. It has added ingredients to make the shelf life longer. If you are grocery shopping and you are eating “clean” you stick to the outside perimeter of the grocery store. This is where the fresh produce and meat will be located.

Well, back to my journey. I am getting use to eating this way. I am still on the 80% non-processed and 20% processed food way of eating.  It is too difficult for me to completely cut out processed food.  I have begun to notice that I don’t crave sugar like I use to and I am constantly wanting to drink water more.  I am still lacking in energy, which I found to be surprising. I thought I would be jacked up on energy. I have begun to eat smoothies with all kinds of crazy things in them in order to gain protein, iron and other key nutrients.

I am finding the more I eat this way, the more easy it is to cut out the processed food, because my body just does not want it.

Journey on this clean eating: week 2 to 2 1/2, doing fairly well. Still learning to navigate my way around what is and is not natural. Just because it says its natural does not make it natural.  I am also learning that I like eating healthy. As for the triggers, I have discovered, Oreos and cheese are triggers to my migraines.

I don’t believe this will prolong my life. God has numbered my days, that is a biblical truth. I know that He is in charge of my life. I want to take care of the body He has given me and treat it with respect.  What I put into my body is important.  I am learning balance and most importantly discipline.

Daddy Doin work and the infamous photo

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Ben doin' work with the girls and their AWANA

Ben doin’ work with the girls and their AWANA

Daddy Doin Work is a website of a daddy blogger.  There was a photo posted that was heard literally around the world. You may or may not have heard about it. It was an African-American male getting his daughter  ready for school,while holding the other one in a carrier in  the front.

Here is the link to the photo and his story behind the photo. I won’t repost that photo on my blog out of respect for his blog. Plus, his blog is hilarious. It is a must read for parents. My husband now secretly has a bromance with this guy.  I am not sure if the male blogger, Doyin, knows but my hubby loves him.

Now remember: I tend not to use swear words in my writing due to my faith beliefs but this guy does.  That’s how he drives home his points. Its his belief that he does but I believe that this story and his blog is a worthwhile read.  http://daddydoinwork.com/dreamin/

Now, back to the photo that was heard around the world. I began to ponder, why aren’t all “good” daddies posting pictures of themselves doing great things. My husband is a great father. When we had our oldest in 2009, he was taken with her the moment in he held her in his arms. (He got to hold her first due to my C-section).  My mom told me: “When I saw Ben coming down the hall with your daughter, he was gone.”  The man has been gone since.

Looking back on who I could have picked out to be the father of my children, I am so glad I did not choose. I am glad God choose for me. God did a mighty work in this man, that I love as my husband and daddy to our girls.  As, Doyin, says “daddying” (Yes, he uses it as a verb. It personally drives me crazy.) is for every male.  He believes that his picture should not have been that big of a deal.  He also says: “If a mother had posted that picture, it wouldn’t have been.” He’s right.

Ben doin work on the ginger bread house with the girls

Ben doin work on the ginger bread house with the girls

I post pictures all the time of my husband doing wonderful things with our daughters. Yet, it didn’t make national T.V.  We aren’t going around doing interviews because my husband is the same as this man.  Don’t take this as hatin’ on him (as my students would say) but merely pointing out, that all MEN should BE doing this!

If you have noticed throughout this blog, I have posted pictures of my husband doin work. To the husbands/ boyfriends out there handling it and taking care of their family. Great job! The rest of you, STEP IT UP!

I teach everyday to students missing daddies doin’ work. It’s heartbreaking and has lasting personal effects on them.  Be the Change you want to see in the World!

Sources:  www.daddydoinwork.com

Is clean eating for you?

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Photo by: Masahiro Ihara 2008

Photo by: Masahiro Ihara
2008

The new year always brings new challenges for people. Some want to get fit, start eating healthy, or just improve something in their life.  My new challenge is to begin the eating clean fad. I am not sure if it is a fad, but I digress.  Why am I beginning to eat “clean”? I suffer from chronic migraines. I make drug reps very happy with the amount of medication I am on currently. Due to my medication, I have lost some weight and am currently very petite. You might be wondering, why are you writing a blog on “clean” eating or even doing a doing this fad?

I have started “clean” eating  to see what foods are triggers  trigger of my migraines. I am beginning by eating very little to no processed food. This is a difficult task. I will then reintroduce some processed food, such as cheese and chocolate to see how I fair.

I hate it. I hate “clean” eating. It takes 21 days to form a habit. I am on day 4 or 5. I seriously hate that I can’t eat my junk food. I have a serious sugar intake issue. I hate having to cut up everything I eat and watching where I pick up food. Which makes eating out impossible.

After some research, I have decided to do 80% “clean” eating and 20% non-“clean” eating. I believe this will help my test to see what my triggers for headaches and I won’t feel as deprived in my food intake.

Any advice for you “clean” eaters out there? How can I make this work?

Seriously, all I want is a piece of cake or a pack of Skittles!

Insane or Insanity?

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“Dig deeper ya’ll!” is screaming out of my television as sweat is pouring down my face.  ” I am!” is the scream back at the television.  The sweat by this point is penetrating my much-loved Dri-fit shirt.  I have started insanity.

What is insanity you ask? Well, the name speaks for itself. It is a at home exercise DVD set. It should take you 60 takes to complete it doing it like 6 times a week. A video in month 1 can last between 30 to 45 minutes. In month 2, the videos become a much longer.  It is  high intensity interval training.

I have started the 60 days before but then  3 weeks into month 1. I became pregnant with daughter number 2. I felt as though insanity was a little insane for a pregnant woman. After Bella was born I went back to running.  Bella is now 3 years old.

The winter months are the hardest for me to run and stay in shape.   Winter months can be the hardest to workout. By the time I get home from work, I am less likely to go back out to the gym. Enter insanity into my life again.

Why am I blogging about something like this? Because If I put it out there in social media, I will have to complete the two months. I will. I want to be in better shape and faster for my upcoming half-marathon year. I want to get out of the winter working out rat hole that I currently find myself. I want to challenge myself.

Insanity By:Speaking Latino 2012

Insanity
By:Speaking Latino
2012

Today, Shaun T and I will workout today. I might say nice things to good ole’ Shaun T through the television. I might put my head down in frustration and yell, ” I am working as hard as I can!”  and he will yell back  ” It’s time to push!”.  We have a love/hate relationship.

I have never meet Shaun T. But If I ever do, I would tell him one thing,  my daughter thinks you are hilarious.  I do not find you hilarious at all.

It’s time to dig deep for the next 52 days.